Carsyn and I arrived yesterday afternoon to Ann Arbor. We stopped at the outlet mall on the way and did a little shopping, then we checked into our hotel and went to dinner with Blake and Jolene. We then waited to pick Blaine up from the airport, as he was flying in to Ypsilanti from his meet in Virginia. He didn't get in until almost 1:00am, but it was nice to be able to see him right off the plane. Of course, it was a long night trying to get Carsyn back to sleep.
Today, we weren't sure what to do. We wanted to go to the zoo, but Carsyn was pretty grumpy already from the day and night before, and it was supposed to rain in the afternoon. Instead, we went to Cabela's and met Blaine's parents there after I got my pre-op blood work done at the hospital. It was basically like going to the zoo or aquarium! Carsyn got to see all the animals and fish, and she did not want to leave. We could have been there all day chasing her around from animal display to animal display. For the first time all pregnancy, my ankles swelled. Once we left, we came back to Ann Arbor and took a nap. We then enjoyed a nice dinner with our parents and Blake and Jo. Carsyn is now off with Grandma and Grandpa Maag, definitely a bittersweet moment. Hard to believe she will be a big sister, and we will be parents of two beautiful girls.
There are SO many different emotions flowing through my mind. As excited I am to finally meet Miss Kennedy, I am equally as scared. It's so hard to admit, but I am terrified. I don't know how her health will be when she arrives and I don't know so many other factors regarding her in general. When people say to me, "You must be so excited to meet her finally." I think to myself, I am, yes, of course. But in another way I wish she could just stay where she is, where I know she is safe and protected. God has a plan, and we will see what that is. He's brought her this far for a reason, and I pray he continues to work his miracles through the doctors, surgeons, and nurses. There have been so many times I have cried and wondered why these things are put on babies, children, and innocent animals. It's amazing all the kids that are living well and living 'normal' lives that have the same defects Kennedy has. However, every journey is different. Some have had to fight harder than others, and some have been blessed with a smoother fight. There is no timeline or time telling how long we could be in the hospital, how long she could be on ______ medications, or on her feeding tube. We don't know any of that. We have been living this journey day by day, and we will continue to do so from here on out. We will keep fighting no matter what happens along our journey. We will fight for those babies that will be diagnosed with these CHDs in the future, for those that are living with them today, and for those that have lost their battle with CHDs. Like I said, every journey is different. I am so confident in today's medicine and our doctors, and first and foremost, Kennedy. Don't get me wrong, I have loved Carsyn from the moment I knew I was pregnant. But no one understands the love a Mommy has for her heart baby, unless you are one. You love all your children all the same, but with a sick baby, it's a completely different love.
We are off to the hospital in the morning around 6:00. Surgery is scheduled for 7:30. We will update everyone as soon as we possibly can. Most updates will be posted to our Facebook group (link below) and as I come to it, I will continue updating the blog. If you are interested in the most up to date information we highly suggest joining our group. Please pray for us all tomorrow, and most importantly, Kennedy. She is so loved already.
FACEBOOK GROUP: KENNEDY'S FIGHT
I would like to share a short timeline of our journey and their significance....
December 8 -- In 2001, my maternal Grandfather passed away unexpectedly. On this day in 2014, we found out Kennedy had a heart defect. At that point the significance was unknown.
January 7 -- My mom's birthday. As most know, she passed away unexpectedly and pretty suddenly in 2008. On this day in 2015, we found out Kennedy's heart defect was much more than we expected. She had HLHS.
February 5 -- My oldest brother's birthday. The doctors confirmed Kennedy's intact atrial septum, and scheduled fetal intervention for February 24.
April 20 -- My mom's brother's (Gary) birthday. My uncle is kind enough to share his birthday with the birth of his great niece. Happy Birthday, Tito Lolo Gary!
Although, these dates may not seem very significant to others, they are all very special to me, and most certainly will never be forgotten.
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