38 Weeks, 2 Days

Well, here we are. It's so hard to believe the time has already come and we get to finally meet our precious Kennedy in the morning. This week has been absolutely crazy. I'm sorry to anyone who has messaged, text, or called me and I didn't answer or haven't responded. Trying to pack all our bags, clean the house, raise a toddler, and still get my naps in has been very time consuming.

Carsyn and I arrived yesterday afternoon to Ann Arbor. We stopped at the outlet mall on the way and did a little shopping, then we checked into our hotel and went to dinner with Blake and Jolene. We then waited to pick Blaine up from the airport, as he was flying in to Ypsilanti from his meet in Virginia. He didn't get in until almost 1:00am, but it was nice to be able to see him right off the plane. Of course, it was a long night trying to get Carsyn back to sleep.

Today, we weren't sure what to do. We wanted to go to the zoo, but Carsyn was pretty grumpy already from the day and night before, and it was supposed to rain in the afternoon. Instead, we went to Cabela's and met Blaine's parents there after I got my pre-op blood work done at the hospital. It was basically like going to the zoo or aquarium! Carsyn got to see all the animals and fish, and she did not want to leave. We could have been there all day chasing her around from animal display to animal display. For the first time all pregnancy, my ankles swelled. Once we left, we came back to Ann Arbor and took a nap. We then enjoyed a nice dinner with our parents and Blake and Jo. Carsyn is now off with Grandma and Grandpa Maag, definitely a bittersweet moment. Hard to believe she will be a big sister, and we will be parents of two beautiful girls.

There are SO many different emotions flowing through my mind. As excited I am to finally meet Miss Kennedy, I am equally as scared. It's so hard to admit, but I am terrified. I don't know how her health will be when she arrives and I don't know so many other factors regarding her in general. When people say to me, "You must be so excited to meet her finally." I think to myself, I am, yes, of course. But in another way I wish she could just stay where she is, where I know she is safe and protected. God has a plan, and we will see what that is. He's brought her this far for a reason, and I pray he continues to work his miracles through the doctors, surgeons, and nurses. There have been so many times I have cried and wondered why these things are put on babies, children, and innocent animals. It's amazing all the kids that are living well and living 'normal' lives that have the same defects Kennedy has. However, every journey is different. Some have had to fight harder than others, and some have been blessed with a smoother fight. There is no timeline or time telling how long we could be in the hospital, how long she could be on ______ medications, or on her feeding tube. We don't know any of that. We have been living this journey day by day, and we will continue to do so from here on out. We will keep fighting no matter what happens along our journey. We will fight for those babies that will be diagnosed with these CHDs in the future, for those that are living with them today, and for those that have lost their battle with CHDs. Like I said, every journey is different. I am so confident in today's medicine and our doctors, and first and foremost, Kennedy. Don't get me wrong, I have loved Carsyn from the moment I knew I was pregnant. But no one understands the love a Mommy has for her heart baby, unless you are one. You love all your children all the same, but with a sick baby, it's a completely different love.

We are off to the hospital in the morning around 6:00. Surgery is scheduled for 7:30. We will update everyone as soon as we possibly can. Most updates will be posted to our Facebook group (link below) and as I come to it, I will continue updating the blog. If you are interested in the most up to date information we highly suggest joining our group. Please pray for us all tomorrow, and most importantly, Kennedy. She is so loved already.

FACEBOOK GROUP: KENNEDY'S FIGHT


I would like to share a short timeline of our journey and their significance....

December 8 -- In 2001, my maternal Grandfather passed away unexpectedly. On this day in 2014, we found out Kennedy had a heart defect. At that point the significance was unknown.

January 7 -- My mom's birthday. As most know, she passed away unexpectedly and pretty suddenly in 2008. On this day in 2015, we found out Kennedy's heart defect was much more than we expected. She had HLHS.

February 5 --  My oldest brother's birthday. The doctors confirmed Kennedy's intact atrial septum, and scheduled fetal intervention for February 24.

April 20 -- My mom's brother's (Gary) birthday. My uncle is kind enough to share his birthday with the birth of his great niece. Happy Birthday, Tito Lolo Gary!

Although, these dates may not seem very significant to others, they are all very special to me, and most certainly will never be forgotten.

37 Weeks

I cannot believe how fast the last week has gone. The weeks waiting for 36 weeks seemed to take forever, simply because it was crucial to make it there. Now we are nearly one week away from delivery day! Just 10 short days away.

Last week, the team had a comprehensive meeting about delivering Kennedy, finalizing all the details. Yesterday, we had an ultrasound and a fetal echo. The ascites in her belly has remained the same, and the doctor said the edema under her scalp has seemed to go down a bit! Such amazing news. Praise the Lord! With all that being said, yesterday was our last set of appointments before April 20.

The day of delivery is obviously going to be pretty hectic. We are the first scheduled appointment, scheduled for 7:30AM. We will have to arrive at the hospital around 6AM to get me prepped for surgery. Instead of delivering me on the woman's floor where they typically deliver babies, we will be delivering on the general surgery floor in the OR next to our surgeon's (Dr. Ohye) OR. Blaine will not be with me for my epidural, as they will be prepping him to meet us in the OR for delivery. I am so happy and grateful he will be able to be there with us and get to see his baby girl. Once Kennedy is delivered, she will get cleaned up, vitals taken, baptized, pictures taken, and prepped to head over to the next OR for her septostomy. Blaine and I will be returning to recovery and they will be keeping him updated. Once I can be moved into my postpartum room and Kennedy is out of surgery, I am hoping I will be able to go up and see her ASAP.

These last few weeks have been pretty stressful in themselves, let alone this next week and a half. I still feel like I have gotten nothing done, besides trying to keep the house decently picked up. Sleep at night isn't easy, and I still have to pack our bags!!! Yikes. Thankfully, I still feel great, besides my sore hips and lack of sleep for the most part. No signs of labor yet. And I at least have my lists written out for what I need to pack for Carsyn and I. My dad is coming this weekend and will be taking Izzy back to Ohio with him, until we are ready for her to come back home. Every time I think of her leaving, I get teary eyed and slightly upset. It's always been difficult for me to leave her. The longest she's been gone has been 2 weeks. I don't even know the next time I will see her, and Carsyn has been all about her dog lately, which really breaks my heart. When Izzy isn't visible to her, she always asks, "Where's Izzy?" She says Izzy better than she says anything else. At least I know Izzy will be taken care of, I just hope she doesn't forget me! ;)

As we all prepare for these final days before our lives really take on a big change, I have started a group on Facebook (link is posted at the end) for all those who would like to follow. I will continue to update the blog, as it is very therapeutic for me to write about my thoughts and feelings, but on the group it will be easier to post updates and pictures and for people to contact us. Please understand that we have begun these things (blog and group) to try and update all our friends and families as easily as possible for us. We love hearing from everyone, but trying to text, call, and message each individual back can be overwhelming. So if we don't directly respond to you, do not take it personally! We still enjoy hearing from you all! :)

God bless,

The Maag Family

Photo courtesy of A Stitch in Time Photography

Big sister laying with little sister's blanket.

Photo courtesy of A Stitch in Time Photography

Please keep sharing our fundraising page, as our journey is just beginning.

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36 Weeks

With a big sigh of relief, we are so happy that we have made it to full term. If Kennedy decides to make her appearance before April 20, they will do what they can. On the other hand, as time is quickly winding down, there seems to be endless things to do. As there always seems to be an endless list of things to do before having a baby, I feel like my list seems twice as long this time around as we won't be home in a few days after delivery. Trying to set up arrangements to get the dog home to Ohio with my dad (even though it will break my heart to see her go, and I will cry like a little baby), packing bags for Blaine, Carsyn, and I and not knowing how much to pack, getting last minute baby items that we will need, etc. my list seems to just go on and on and on. It's kind of overwhelming when all I want to do is sleep, as I haven't been sleeping well with the combination of being uncomfortable and my racing mind. Carsyn has been sick this past week, and thankfully my aunt, uncle, and little cousins were visiting this week over their spring break, and they were beyond a HUGE help and allowing me to nap for 2+ hours almost everyday.

Our doctors appointments haven't been anything dramatic, as of late, praise God. Nothing much has changed in regards to the ascites (fluid in her abdomen), but her heart is still pumping strong and her biophysical profile looks great. As the stress from the appointments has been minimal, with time ticking down so quickly, we have been getting pretty emotional. Our emotions seem to be running wild and are going in every direction. I absolutely cannot wait to see her, but on the other hand I am so scared, nervous, and anxious. I know things will be hard and this is going to be a lifelong journey, but I guess you never know the circumstances until you are in the moment. I hate this feeling, but it's extremely difficult seeing all our friends having adorable, happy, and healthy babies, along with happy families with their new bundles of joy. I feel so selfish and jealous, but I feel like it's not something I can control. I don't know when I will even be able to hold Kennedy, or what her health will be like when she arrives, besides being already very, very sick. Don't get me wrong, I am so incredibly happy for all those people, I just wish I could join them in that realm.

Blaine will be traveling to Louisville, KY next weekend and Virginia the following weekend for track meets. And in 17 short days, Kennedy is scheduled to arrive. Please continue to pray for us as this journey is just beginning.

The pictures below were taken by Amie of A Stitch in Time Photography from Haslett, MI. Thank you to Blaine's athletes for this amazing gift, and an even bigger thank you to Amie for donating her time and sessions to us to help capture some beautiful photos along this difficult journey.